Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Bed



you don't realise
the closest friend you have 
is your own bed
with your stained pillow of your scent
and unwashed blanket that is never uncomfortable
mattress that feels like home
between the crumpled sheets
you find your tears
you find your smiles
you find breadcrumbs and water spills
you find dreams and romance
you find nightmares and traumas
you find peace
you find sorrow
you find your life
mornings when you wake up
and nights when you fall asleep

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

TP : Parenting Challenges in Shaping Youth's Morality in the Age of Heavily Sexualised Social Media


19 December 2014

Parenting Challenges in Shaping Youth’s Morality in the Age of Sexualised Social Media

In the age of free-flowing information through advanced digital technology, society has become active media consumers. As a result, social media has become a necessity in life especially among youth until those who do not own a Facebook account is considered weird or anti-social. Social media is implicitly changing the global culture, the way people think and influences what should people believe in. As influential as social media has become, the challenge of differentiating true and false information is getting more arduous. Although social media has become part and parcel of today’s youth culture, parents must be aware of the possibilities that this medium can lead towards ambiguous morality among children including Muslims.

Ambiguous morality is defined as a euphemism for describing someone who lacks in morals or changes their morals to suit their needs. Originally, this term is used to describe corrupted businessmen or graft politicians but yet, nowadays it is also been used to refer to young generations who do not behave well or conform to an ideology blindly. They worship their idols on the television or Internet obsessively due to massive waves of music and entertainment that appear like mushrooms after a rain. Respect that should be instil in the family institutions has been replaced with the love towards popular celebrities (Chapman, n.d.). People from all walks of life including teenagers face hardships and stresses in life, and they failed to sort out their problems in the right way. Hence, they will find a way to escape the problems, and one way of doing it is through worshipping celebrities. Popular figures can easily tap into their emotions and offer them an escapade from everyday lives by providing a fantasy life to live on (Murphy, 2010). On the other hand, the obsession with Internet makes the Muslim youths spend less time with their family and it may affect the family relationship. The society itself has lost its emotional contacts within the circle. Teenagers, as a young and heedless group fills up the inadequacy of healthy social connection by becoming addicted to celebrities. Isolation put them into the shape of starving for social attention (Murphy, 2010). Popular cultures such as social media, K-Pop, Hollywood and J-Pop, dominated youths’ mentality, dressing code and also choice of words. They play a vital role in shaping one’s behaviour. Youth especially teenagers are most likely to involve in this dogmatic trends because they do not think critically before conforming the culture. Pop culture in media is manifested around the world through movies, music, television shows, newspapers, satellite broadcasts, fast food and clothing, and even consumer goods. (Pop Culture…, 2000). They failed to differentiate which is right or wrong because the media has shaped almost everything that revolved around them. This is where challenges of becoming parents in raising up the children start. The era of digital technology requires parents and adults to educate young people today that morality is not always subjective.

Social media is defined as a group of Internet-based applications that build on the ideological and technological foundations of Web 2.0, whereby the content and information are no longer created or published by individuals, instead they are continuously updated and changed by multiple users in a collaborative way (Siibak, n.d.). This is undoubtedly a big development in the world of Internet that allows responds by anyone and enhances participation among people. Due to the massive improvement in Internet accessibility, broadband speed and capacity, and also youth generation whom thirsts for trending gizmos and applications in smartphones, social media is completely in a whole new level of sophistication. Every generation has its own uniqueness that distinguish one from another generations (Shäffer, as cited from Siibak, n.d.). Generations of the olden days depended solely on mass publication and spent time mostly through reading newspapers and books. But not for today’s young generation. Youths in this globalized era grow up with digital technology, thus being called “digital natives” (Prensky, 2001). Research done by online charity YouthNet on a group of 16 and 24 year olds found that 75% of them “cannot live without Internet”, four out of five youths sought advices on websites and one third felt no need to meet person when they have resources available online (Kids’ Top Searches…, 2009). This shows youths are relying on Internet and social media very much. No one can deny the power of digital technology and its importance in the world. But no one can also deny the bad effects that come if people misuse it. The one who is affected the most is youth, as they are the dominant users of social media. Parents should be more sophisticated and take notes on what their children surf online (Youth Cannot Live…, 2009). Mastering the basic skills of using social media might be helpful for parents to control and supervise children’s activities in social sites.

Globalization has been a phenomenon around the globe where it affects political status, economic growth and social life. Economic impulse drives it beyond economy and up to the extent of producing commercial global culture. One of the most commercialized culture being promoted due to globalization is the new disgusting forms of slavery known as sex slavery (Global Shame…, 2000). The worst part is not only it traffics millions of vulnerable women, but also children as young as ten years old. These children are sold, abused, trafficked and even worse, prostituted under the supervision of blind community that denies their rights. In numbers, the non-profit organization End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography, and the Traffic in Children for Sexual Purposes (ECPAT) claimed that children involved in sex industries are more than 100, 000 in all countries in view including Thailand, Nepal, Brazil and India. The success of this industry was proven by the victory to generate 20-23 billion dollar between 1993 and 1995 (Global Shame…, 2000). 20 years have gone by and it is with no doubt that this number is growing day by day. All these numbers and researches show that child pornography is getting worse. In Chicago, 27 people from 4 different countries have been arrested for using an Internet chat room to trade child porn and exchange videos of live molestation. Seven victims in the videos were identified and one of them was less than 18 months old (Child Porn Ring…, 2006). With the abundance of new digital technology, file and information sharing have become a lot more convenient. Perpetrators misuse this digital technology to further luring children into their traps. They are exploiting children for their profits and one easy way to get in touch with the children is simply through social media. It allows the users to create personalized profile and details about themselves online. Social media serves as an electronic door for perpetrators to lure innocent young teenagers and naïve children with affection, kindness and attention before meeting them in person. Parents and adults must be fully aware of what is happening around their children, not only physically but also virtually. Constant monitoring on the adolescents’ online activities must be enforced to avoid them becoming a victim of child pornography. All these while, parents are left with an option to find and install monitoring software on their own. This is troublesome for certain people because they do not have time and knowledge to search for suitable software to be used. Thus, manufacturers should come with a built-in online monitoring system before selling the computers to the customers (Web Content Disturbing…, 2008). It is important to ensure the safety of children when surfing the Internet. In brief, online activities of youths and teenagers should be carefully monitored by parents because there is a high tendency for them to be involved in child pornography through social media.

Social media, when it is misused, will be a platform of moral degradation and crime victimisation. In this context, cyberbullying is one of the major Internet cases happened online. Social media allows its users to hide their true identities using other names and fake pictures. This is where the problem of cyberbullying occurs. By using fake identities, abusers will easily get access to the victims’ profiles and flaming them by mocking, spreading rumours, sending mean messages and posting embarrassing pictures and videos of the victims (What is Cyberbullying…, n.d.). Although social media is built to keep people closer, there will always be bullies out there trying to get in and take advantage of others (Skye, n.d.). Abusers will use derogatory remarks and obnoxious words to portray hatred towards the victims and as a result, the victims feel demotivated and unconfident about their own self. The feeling of rejection by society haunts them and hence, leading to an escapade of life such as isolation and suicide. Furthermore, bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to commit suicide than those who do not experience it. And frankly, those with obese or overweight kids have 63% more tendency to be bullied than those with normal body weight (Skye, n.d.). People who suffer from stress of their personalities will be pessimistic and cynical about living their life, and thus they will take a quick route to end it as soon as possible. Facebook, Ask.fm, and Twitter are sources of major cases of cyberbullying all over the world (Butterly, 2013). Social media is where abusers can obtain personal details about the victims to be used against them. Information such as name, address, phone number, study place, likes and dislikes and even profile picture of a person can be taken from social media. Anonymity of identity increases the urge of abusers to attack their victims through cyber space without being sniffed out. Major suicide cases that caused by cyberbullying are very deteriorating, as the victims were all young and underage. 14-year-old Hannah Smith and 15-year-old Amanda Todd were some of suicide cases happened due to cyberbullying. Parental supervision over online activities of their children must be strictly done to avoid cyberbullying. Children especially teenagers should be advised not to reveal their private information or talking with strangers online and consult to the trusted adults if they cross upon harassing emails or contents (Gerber, n.d.). In other words, parents have to make sure their children are not opening up personal information online as it may be used to harass them by cyberbullies.

Bruce Feiler, a writer who is also a father of two daughters living in the cosmopolitan city of New York was taken aback by the choice of clothes his children chose to wear in public (Feiler, 2013). He was uncertain on how to deal with the issue of children’s emerging sexuality so soon. This shows the critical roles that popular culture has on fashion industry in shaping children’s sense of morality. Fashion is also a popular culture that comes through the emerging world of digital technology. Earlier, fashion is mostly emphasized on adults rather than teenagers or children. But, time has changed and now, fashion is the keyword for almost all teenagers. The bags they carry, the watch they wear and the shirts they put on are involving fashion. The main source of getting information about trending fashion can be easily accessed through digital technology and mostly came from social media. This is where fashion designers or celebrities put their new garments in Instagram or Facebook for public view. Teenagers will have a tendency to copy their favourite celebrities’ styles and looks as they are too naïve to differentiate the appropriateness of what they are copying (Khan, 2014). Furthermore, with the existence of social media that can be updated on daily basis, fashion crisis for youngsters have been more severe. Fashion companies take advantages of this medium to further increase their marketing and pick young adolescents as their main target. Because they know adolescents are their biggest source of income as they are mostly uneducated and uninitiated of the harms in following latest fashion. Trends will always come and go, thus teenagers must spend a lot of money in order to stick with the latest one (Pandey, 2013). It will encourage youths to spend excessively and waste their pocket money for the sake of clothing and accessories. Teenagers should spend their money on reference books and co-curricular activities, not jewelleries or high cut leopard-skinned boots. Following latest trends of fashion will be a major problem for teenagers because this will also affect the choice of the clothes that may be improper for their ages. Not all trending fashion are suitable for teenagers as the dresses are provocatively exposing bodies and adult kinds of clothes. Sexualisation of culture has made its way into children’s fashion and thus, offering sexualizing forms of “childlike fashion”. A young girl will be pressured to grow up too fast because they want to wear all those trendy clothes such as push-up bra and mini underskirts (Ahmad, n.d.). Also they are more likely to deviate from studies due to obsession only in fashion magazines and fashion forums in social media. The emergence of social media that can be updated every single second really influences teenagers whom are crazy for newest trends or styles from their beloved celebrities. Without any proper guidance from parents in fashion and also the usage of social media, this pornification of culture will bring about bad consequences to the children. Parents must bear in mind to educate them about the suitable way of choosing clothes and not to be easily fooled by trending fashion and sexy clothes advertised in social media.

Living on the 21st century where all kinds of information is only at the tip of fingers is surely a convenient thing to be experienced. But unfortunately, the easier life is, the harder parenting will be. This is because it is becoming more arduous to look after the children about the hidden dangers of cyber world. Modern child is living in a digital technology world that older generation can barely keep up with. Despite omnipresent technology, parents have to contend with it in order to protect their children from harmful unrestricted access of Internet (Makori, 2012). Digital technology might come in handy, but when it is misused, it can lead to a bigger problem especially in terms of safety and morality. Child pornography exposes children to uncensored sexual contents and encourages sex to the youngsters. Children might be victimized by the perpetrators for sexual purpose and this is where parents have to reinforce the safety of children on the net. On the other hand, social media can also make ways for moral degradation among youths. Simply because it offers vast field of trending news including improper fashion for teens. If parents fail to educate their children on how to differentiate the decent and the unsuitable ones, there will be a problem on guiding the children’s morality.

Children are a blessing of God for married couples. Raising them up righteously is an obligation for all parents including Muslims. Take an example on how the best role model of humankind, Prophet Muhammad PBUH handled many situations involving minors with patience and good-naturedness (Farooqi, 2013). Parents must raise up their children wisely without stressing on hard and fierce methods all the way. Fostering resilience might be one way of controlling and harnessing love in the family as research shows that it creates a positive atmosphere among family members especially for the children (Christakis, 2012). There are lots of factors that can improve children’s abilities such as optimism, flexibility and self-esteem that are not being taught in class. Boosting up these values orally to them will help to make them feel more appreciated and loved. Laughter, quality time and family love are necessities in a family institution. Children being obsessed with social media mainly because they do not acquire all these basic needs in the family. As a result, they switch to the cyber world to get this kind of attention without knowing there are lots of unexpected hazards lie within. Hence, parents must nourish the family with love in order to become close with the children and guide them about clear boundary between improper and proper morality. Not forgotten, they have to cope with digital technology to control and restrict children from dangerous threads online.

TP : Obscenity in Today's Music Industry and Future Leader


18 December 2014

                                                             Sound of Action:                                  

Obscenity in Today’s Music Industry and Future Leader

            Corruption of cultures exists in many forms. These may include popular culture, lifestyles, popular music, technology and entertainment. The creation of Spotify, iTunes and Youtube in the world of information and digital technology has made the music as the fastest trendsetter. However, the rising of explicit contents in today’s popular music is quite worrying and has become everyone’s concern. The concern is shared among Muslim society as well as other societies across the globe. This paper examines the negative potentials of the music industry towards future leader and the measures that need to be taken in order to create a morally strong Muslim society to face future challenges.

            Morality is everyone’s business and nobody is excluded in the issue. With morality, a society can face global future challenges and obstacles without having to worry too much on not being able to compete in the global world. In the future, global challenges may include finding fresh drinking water, affordable and reliable food supply and clean energy (New Straits Times, 2012, p. 21). If Muslims want to contribute to the betterment of mankind and solve future problems, they should empower not only men but women today (The Star, 2012, p. 9). However, in order to bring the society to a higher level of understanding morality, we must first acknowledge the inner problems faced by the society at the moment – the corruption of popular music in today’s music industry.

            The first thing we need to look upon is how the contents in today’s music industry affect the society and future generation. Obviously, music is inescapable as it surrounds us in public spaces, it invades every café, bar, and restaurant and it blares at us from passing motor cars and dribbles from the open taps of radios and iPods all over the planet. However, most people – perhaps everyone don’t bother to critically listen to the contents of the song they’re listening to. Songs from Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus are being glorified all over the radios even if the lyrics are not suitable for children to listen to. Even so, the banning of these particular songs is impractical because of the world of information we’re living in, where everyone can download everything from anywhere. Despite the fact that the popular culture is being spread worldwide, the Muslim should take extra efforts in facing this challenges.

In the world of information and digital technology, the Muslim society is unconsciously suffering from the moral degradation issue. Popular music has provided a space for the youth to express their favourite, hatred, belief, ideology and misery – which can either be a good thing or a bad sign for the future. Plato (4.424c) once said, “The ways of poetry and music are not changed anywhere without change in the most important laws of the city” (The Republic, 2003). For Plato, music wasn’t a neutral pleasure. It could express and encourage virtue – nobility, dignity, temperance, chastity. However, it could also express and encourage vice – sensuality, belligerence and indiscipline. Plato’s concern has no different from that of a modern person worrying about the moral character, and moral effect. In the first place, we, as a person of a society should understand that popular music does not only help us to escape the busy world but it can also affect our moral behaviours and social belief.

            Teenager and young people no longer acknowledge important scholars because they’re being blurred by the overload of entertainment in today’s digital technology. There is no doubt that popular music today enjoys a higher status compared to any other cultural product. Pop stars are first among celebrities, idolized by the young, taken as role models, courted by politicians, and surrounded with an aura that gives them power over crowds. It is surely likely, therefore, that something of their message will rub off on the laws passed by the politicians who admire them. The question of the moral character of music is also complicated by the fact that music is appreciated in many different ways – people dance to music, they work and converse over a background of music, they perform music, and they listen to music. People happily dance to music that they cannot bear to listen to Mozart or Beethoven anymore. However, ours is a “non-judgmental” culture. To criticize another’s taste, whether in music, entertainment, or lifestyle, is to assume that some tastes are superior to others. This, for many people, is offensive. Who are you, they respond, to judge another’s taste? Young people in particular feel this, and since it is young people who the principal devotees are of pop music, this places a tough obstacle in the path of anyone who undertakes to criticize pop music.


Popular music has made it difficult for parents of today’s world. An American writer and novelist issuing his worry towards the way his daughter dressing. He’s in dilemma and not wanting to blame his daughter but to express his worry for the society. He believed that this happened because of the bad social influence or to be precise, popular culture (The New York Times, 2013). Most of the artists that were brought up by the music industry todays are promoting highly sexual ways of life through the ways they’re dressing. Teenagers will tend to try out the outfits of their favourite artists and hence lead to the question of ‘why are you dressing that way?’ from their parents. In short, music industry is not only able to promote their music but they also can influence the way of youth dressing.

In addition, it’s not hard to understand why girls are sexually active so early or why they choose to focus on looks and materialism instead of working on their character. It’s not hard to see why young boys objectify women and we have to take extra efforts to encourage them to dress in opposition to the stereotypes that they view in the media. When we who know the difference listen to the radio, the youth, who aren’t mature enough to know the difference, listen as well. Just because we let them listen to the edited version doesn’t stop them from being exposed to the suggestions or from even searching these artists on the web and wanting to emulate them. Some children try to grow up too fast, and as members of society who want more for ourselves, we should be more mindful of the messages we allow them and ourselves to be exposed.

            According to Williams (2014), we buy R. Kelly’s album without second thought even if we know statutory rape is wrong. It is well-known that R. Kelly knowingly had relations with underage girls, but no one says he should get help or writes petitions against him. They just keep two-stepping – in the name of love. Just about every rapper talks about committing a wide range of crimes from Scarface to Kanye West. Elements of Hip-Hop artists as new age include the telling of stories as warnings and also to simply show the artist’s story-telling ability but there is a difference between creative storytelling and glorifying a lifestyle. We need to start asking ourselves what we want to focus on – the good or debased elements of life and how it contributes to morality in our communities. Music these days contains lyrics that are filled with racism, gangsterism, rape and weed taking. These kind of things are solidifying that rape culture is alive and being celebrated in pop music. The constant usage of words such as ‘ass’ and ‘titties’ in lyrics offends on so many levels yet people are blinding their eyes because they thought that they’re a part of popular culture.

It’s also ironic that we praise these artists and their lyrics when they talk about these things that, if they were to happen in our daily lives, would cause a disturbance in our happiness. Popular artists like Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus, role models for women young and old, expose more of their body parts and their twerking abilities than substance. Every woman wants to be seen as a respectable lady, and men want their wives, sisters and daughters to be worthy of respect and treated in kind by others. So why does society bring more attention to the corrupted elements of mainstream culture that we despise than those we wish to promote within our communities?

In Daily Mail Online, an article is describing the current studies showing that exposure to alcohol marketing raises the odds that under-16s will start to drink, the researchers described their findings as a ‘major concern’. Songs that specifically mentioned drunkenness were also noted. Increased alcohol promotion in popular music and ensure this does not reinforce the binge drinking culture or contribute to the already high burdens of alcohol on young people (Macrae, 2014). An analysis published in the Journal of Music Psychology found that the mentions of drink are to be most common in tracks from the US and in R&B, rap and hip-hop genres. In Britain, the citizens are suffering from the problem of binge-drinking. The problem is so serious that the Prime Minister announced it as a national scandal (The Star, 2012, p.45). The proportion of songs that promoted alcohol by linking it to confidence, sociability or good looks clearly outweighed those that blamed it for hangovers and health problems. Parents should be aware of the content of songs their children listen to. Although lyrics cannot be censored, it may be possible to warn about references to alcohol on labels that point out sexually explicit and violent lyrics.

Another issue related to the music industry is the increase of violence in youth. The largest sampling of music video content reveals a disturbing amount of violence, as well as unrealistic views of racial and sexual relationships, according to researchers at the Harvard Medical School (Music Videos Promote Adolescent Aggression, 1998). The rising of murder cases involving adolescences and teenagers every year are reported through media mass as violent portrayed in music videos suggests about their own safety and the way they view people of another gender or race. Hence, the influences of music towards the youth are terrifying and should be taken seriously.


To worsen the situation, societies around the world have become selfish and self-centered due to changes brought by technology and popular culture. In Britain, for example, the Chief Rabbi has cautioned people about the dangers of extreme consumerism that may lead to breakdown of family institution (New Straits Times, 2011, p. 26). This selfishness may affect the society as people started not to bother about what’s happening around them. Eventually, the filtration of music contents is no longer a big issue thus the music industry will become more corrupted. From time to time, the music demands not that we listen but that we submit. If we do submit, the moral qualities of the music vanish behind the excitement; if we listen, however, and listen critically as what have been suggested, we will discern those moral qualities. 

In order to deal with the challenges mentioned, the measure has to begin with education and good parenting. Let's face it, it's impossible to remedy the views of every living person. So we must start from the root of the society. Education may consist of formal and informal education but either way both are important. Education at early age may help the children and the youth to understand today’s world. Education enables the society to choose which things are morally acceptable and which are not. The next important measure is good parenting. Parents are the closest to an individual; hence, good parenting will result in better adjusted children (Ordonez, 2013).

We as a community and consumers of media have to decide what to focus on and what we expose ourselves to, in order to properly lead the future to a virtuous and productive path exempt from the decrease in morality we see more of every day. We don’t want a future of pimps and their lookalikes. We want respectable businessmen and woman and we need to change what we watch and listen to in order to shape our futures in that direction. There is plenty of tuneful popular music, and plenty of popular music with which one can sing along and to which one can dance in sociable ways. The choice is in our hand and all we need to do is to provide the right path to the society and lead a better way of life by determining our way of life.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Post of Appreciation

 
It's a blissful day
and she won the first prize
Alhamdulillah and congratulations
The road to raconteur is revealing its trigger
and we're heading straight to it
:)
 
 
 


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Fallen

                 Autums        
                          
                          Memories live on, they said. Even the slightest of the moment; whether they are good or bad, the moments will always be reminisced as memories. To be able to smile and tell everyone this; I have, at least, cried one liter of tears. Looking back at the old photographs, my vision started to blur. Warm drop of tears fell down my cheek. The feeling was strange and I couldn't put it into words. It felt like an emptiness within me that just wouldn't go away. Nostalgia, they call it.

“I really don’t want to say things such as ‘I want to go back as how things were before.’ because things won’t change even if I say so and I will continue to live on.” The words kept repeating in my mind every second.

                        Chatters and laughter rang inside the house. It was a pleasant dinner that night. My mom’s soft smile, my dad’s corny jokes, and my twin sister loud chatter, I smiled fondly at the sight in front of me. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for my family. However, there’s one problem I couldn't settle with; I hated my twin sister, Rue. I hated her for being so perfect in every way. You see, I was a bit selfish back then, all I could think about was how I was being compared to her and not being good enough for everyone. Sometimes, I hated myself too. I blame myself for being brought up to this world to face the cruelty of the comparison. Rue was well mannered, kind, soft spoken, honest and obedience. I was the vice versa of her. We fought about almost everything; colors, food, hobbies, songs and remote control for the television. We barely agreed on each other. Even friends in our school were puzzled by the fact that twins are supposed to get along well, but not us.

                       One day, mom gave each of us an apple seed and asked us to plant them at the back of our house. The apple seeds must be planted side by side and watered every day. Without asking any further, we did what was told. We watered the seeds every day and took care of them. Like usual, Rue and I would always got into a fight. Years went by; the seeds grew into small trees. Things got much better between me and Rue. We were able to tolerate each other and accept opinions from both sides. We often talked about the trees and how we couldn't wait to see them grow bigger. Sometimes, we even played a guessing game where we would guess the color of apples that will be produced by the trees soon. Rue believed that the trees were red apple trees and I would go for green. We became closer and more like how a twin should be. We even shared food and shoes. I even caught a glimpse of smile from mom whenever I had a conversation with Rue. Deep down, I knew Mom was glad.

                     One summer day, I went out to check on the trees. I noticed a strange thing about Rue’s tree; the leaves were falling down. It looked as it hadn't been watered for days. The color of the leaf wasn't as green as mine. I ran back into the house to inform Rue about it but as I went to her room and knocked several times, she didn't answer. Opening her room’s door, I saw Rue lying on the floor, unconsciously. I panicked and called Mom. Rue was then rushed to the hospital. While waiting for Rue outside the emergency room, thousands of thought ran inside my mind. I was scared. After a few hours, the doctor went out of the room and told us that Rue was suspected to have a disease called Spinocerebellar Atrophy; where her cerebellum was shrinking slowly since the day she was born. “Sooner or later, she won’t be able to walk, write or even talk. The symptoms are not obvious but this disease is progressing in her. We haven’t found the cure yet, it’s still in a research but we’ll do our best.” explained the doctor. I felt numb. All I remembered on that day was Mom was crying and dad was all silence. “…But she’s only 13.”

                    Days went by; Rue could no longer walk by herself. She needed the help of a wheelchair to move around. Since then, I was the one who watered both of the trees at the back of our house. Rue’s tree was withering even when I watered it every day. The leaves were getting lesser from day to days.

One day, I sat next to Rue and asked her about her day.

“It’s painful when I’m with you, wanting to do this and that. When I’m with you, I keep dreaming a dream that would never come true. Whenever I think about the past, the tears will come out. Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don’t even have the right to dream. As I think about the future, the tears will come out again. I really don’t want to say things such as ‘I want to go back as how things were before.’ I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on. You've always encouraged me. You've listened to everything I couldn't tell anyone else. When I was down, you made me laugh. You were always near me. Whenever I was in pain, you were always with me. Thank you, Rose.” With those words came out of her, I couldn't help myself but to cry. I felt useless. I blamed myself; I should have spent more time with Rue and I shoulder treated her right.
                       
                  Rue’s condition was getting worse. She was no longer able to talk properly and couldn't handle her hand well. Sometimes, she even got herself chocked on food. Every night I’d cried myself to sleep, scared of what tomorrow will bring. The doctor advised us to let Rue stayed at the hospital since it would be easier for the medical purposes. Hence, when Rue was placed in the hospital, I would visit her every day. I told her about the trees and things at home. Even if she couldn't talk or respond, her soft smile explained everything.  
                      
                      April 14th 2006, the final leaf left on Rue’s tree fell to the ground. Rue was then known to sleep forever. It was raining. The funeral was attended by my cousins, friends, and everyone in the neighborhood Every one of them offered their condolence to our family. Feeling so helpless, I clutched my knees and began sobbing under the apple tree. Soft patters of rains fell on me but I didn't care. Everything just did not matter anymore. Emotions swirled inside of me; hatred, sadness, loneliness, pain. It just wouldn’t go away. I felt like a part of me is missing. Now that every time I look at the apple tree, it reminds me of Rue and the apples are red.

Friday, September 26, 2014

I Like That Tree

 
 
It is raining cats and dogs. The downpour is teeming heavily, making people in the neighbourhood dare not to let their children to play outside the house. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter. The sound of rain resonates so loud that it is rather impossible to hear other environmental sounds that play within. Abruptly, a rumming engine sound comes from afar. It gradually becomes slower and put to a halt in front of an old white vacant villa at the neighbourhood located quite a distance from the other houses and the closest is 500 metres away. Why is there any visitor of that house at this moment, no one knows and no one wants to know.

A manly figure steps out from the car. Tall, perhaps in his thirties and wearing a trench coat paired well with matching pants and black leather shoes, stands blankly facing the old building. He takes out his black umbrella and set it up to prevent him from the crying rain. He wanders slowly, step by step, calmly and steadily forward. The rusty iron gate is being pushed and it makes a creaky sound, one that gives you goosebumps upon hearing it late at night. Without any hesitation, he climbs up the wooden stairs meticulously that leads to the front door. Falter never creeps into him as if he is the commoner of the house.

The door, as expected, is tightly locked with its knob that almost looks like it’s impossible to be used. He reaches a key inside his pocket and slowly stuff it into the shallow keyhole. It fits nicely and the door opened. Nothing has changed at all except that it’s now mended with cobwebs of spiders. The large patio looks squalid enough to demand a desperate cleaning. He creeps slowly, scrutinizing every corner of the living room and halts in front of a huge picture frame of a happy family hanging dully at the wall near the stairs that leads to the second floor. Out of the blue, the memory of the past comes to abreast his long stare upon the sorrowful picture. It is quite disturbing for him to remember all those mixed up feelings of jubilance and woes. Extremely crestfallen of his past, he’s on the verge of tears. The rains outside is pouring its heavy loads, as if acknowledging the drastic change of emotions inside the abandoned villa. Vividly floating in his mind, that one night which left him a deep bleeding gash and changed his entire life.

February 11th it was. A night the family were happily enjoying their meal that ironically, turned out to be the last dinner they had together as a whole. On the way home from having a big feast full of family jokes and laughter, a truck drove by a highly intoxicated drunken man turned to be a big fullstop for most lives. It ramped on their car and sent them to their narrow escape of death in the jungle by the roadside. His parents and 4-year-old sister were up to heaven straight on the spot after the crash. Leaving him alone staggering and gasping for a soul to help. Luckily, there was a car of a good Samaritan happened to witness the accident. And he’s the one responsible for saving the boy and sent him to the hospital for further help. But the future is so cruel for the boy, having to live his life alone at such a young age. And it was a dreadful nightmare he has to bear with for the whole life.

The man passes a blurry window in the hallway and ceases there for a moment, notifies something that caught his attention. A tree. Nope, the tree! The tree that becomes his only shelter and friend after he lost his family. He took a long time to heal himself out of the terrible trauma. He wasn’t himself at all. Not so warm and friendly David anymore. He’s cold and he just wanted to be left alone. Until one day, an adorable little girl came to play under the tree. She wore a beautiful white dress and held a Barbie doll in her hand. Jasmine is the name. Jasmine isn’t a normal girl. Though she’s pretty, but she’s disable. She cannot speak after involved in an accident that took away her voice box when she was 4. Nobody wanted to be her friends and she just wandered and played alone with her Barbie doll. And the meeting with the boy named David under the tree gave her a chance to at least met someone of her age that didn’t judge her harshly. David wasn’t fond of her at first but he didn’t repel her as well. He just let Jasmine played under the tree with her doll. Until one day, he found out that Jasmine can play piano very well. And he’s interested to know her as he also loves music. Guitar is his favourite. And he came to her house frequently as her family loves to know their daughters made friend. They played alongside each other, interacting more through music than words. Music is their mutual language and also through music, their hearts get tangled together slowly and deeply. And the knacks are what made them today, a professional guitarist and a talented pianist and both are lovable entertainers of many. And love makes their story even sweeter.

It has stops raining completely. The man goes outside and approaches the tree, fumbling for something between the barks. His hand touched a piece of paper and he smiles, knowing that he found what he wants. He opens the half-crumpled-and-half-folded paper and there it is, a handwritten poem written on the old paper.

 

A tree obviously cannot bear,

Without immaculate water, light and air,

A timid tree can’t be a tenacious king,

It will die a scrubby thing,

Good timber doesn’t grow with ease,

Stronger wind, stronger trees.

 

“David?”, a pregnant lady reproaches the man. Although her tummy bloats, but she still looks gorgeous in her white dress.

“Sorry, dear. I was just remembering things. This tree and this poem, remember?”, David replies while slowly approaching the lady and hugs her from behind.

“Hmm of course I do. How can I not.”, her face turns red a bit to the thought of their childhood memories.

“My Jasmine.”, David whispers softly at her ear and kiss her lightly on the cheeks. He smiles and hug her tighter. “Come on, dear. Let’s go to the car. It’s not good for you to be out at this terrible weather especially after the throat’s surgery. And also for this little hero.”, he kisses her tummy and caress it gently.

“I’m fine, dear. Sure. Let’s.”

They hold hands together and the lovebirds walk away from the villa with laughter and joy.